Healthy Communication- The Most Neglected Human Need

Human being is one of the few species to have an elaborate and intricate communication system. Our forefathers developed such an exceptional way of putting everything in our speech and non verbal communication that we hardly should have suffered any losses at communication. However, it looks like, humans have not been able to use it to the best of their potential. We realise that most of our conflicts, and therefore stress, crop up because of poor communication. We don’t say half of the things we feel, and we say half of the things we don’t feel at all, making it very difficult for others to understand us. And then there are gaps, misunderstandings and grudges!

Here are some easy ways to communicate better. You may still have difficulty sometime somewhere, but with better communication, conflicts too will be resolved easily.

1.Make life simple, say what you feel.

You want to talk, say it!

You don’t want to talk, say it too!

You are not able to talk, say it or may be text it or email it!

You don’t know what to talk, say it exactly like that!

You feel overwhelmed, say it!

You are confused about your feelings, say it before the other person also gets confused!

You need time to talk, say it and give a tentative time when you think you will be ready to talk!

Whatever it is, speak up! The other person wants to know what is going on in your mind.

2 . Don’t say things casually just to fill gaps. Filling gaps mindlessly actually creates more gaps.

3. Make as much eye contact as possible. One appears genuine, confident and truthful. It is difficult to lie looking someone in eye.

4. Smile as much as possible. It gives confidence, comfort and reassurance.

5. Use a lot of non verbal gestures such as head tilt, chin lift and frequent nods. Shake hands and hug people whenever appropriate.

The Art of Disagreeing  

Say politely that you want to disagree. Put forth facts and evidence rather than judgemental statements to support your point. Keep your tone soft but your voice firm. If you are confident and know what you are talking, the other person is more likely to understand you. Use simple sentences and show empathy that you understand what the other person is saying. You may actually praise the other person for at least making an effort to contribute something. If the other person is still not able to understand you, tell them that they are not able to understand your point and you may want to discuss it later when you both are more receptive.

The Art of Delegation

Ever felt miserable when you wanted help from someone and despite their keen interest, you felt you were not helped? Well, that could be because you may not have communicated well what you wanted in the first place!

You may like to follow these simple ways to get your work done more effectively.

1. Give written instructions as much as possible. Text it, mail it, write it with a pen – but give it in writing. It makes life simple for both of you. You also have proof of what you wanted in case there is some obvious discrepancy in following the orders.
2. If the helper is not able to read (house helps, drivers, safai karamcharis), ask them to repeat what you just told them. This increases their registration power and enhances their memory. It also helps you correct yourself if you missed some instruction.
3. Always praise and give credits for the right work done.
4. Always give benefit of doubt to the other person in case they missed out something in the first two chances. If the work is not done properly even the third time, say firmly and point out the mistakes in a soft yet firm voice. Let them give explanation of why the work was not done as per your requirement. If you still feel, the other person is at mistake, suggest them how to resolve the issue.
5. Lead by example. People respect and follow only those who follow what they preach. Talking something and doing something else not only creates confusion, it causes conflicts and grudges too.

Good luck with these tips. Wishing you the best of everything today and always!

Dr Apala