Martin Seligman, an American psychologist did an experiment on dogs in 1965, where he kept them in isolation and conditioned them to hear a bell and experience an electric shock immediately afterwards. The two stimuli got clubbed so deeply that after some time, if the dogs heard the bell, they gave the reaction of an electric shock even before the real shock was given. This experiment shows how a neutral stimulus (hearing a bell in this case) can elicit a noxious response (feeling of being shocked) despite the absence of the actual noxious stimulus ( electric shock) if the neutral and noxious stimuli are experienced simultaneously for a long time. These findings were later extrapolated for human beings as well.
Part two of the experiment revealed more fascinating findings. Now the same dogs were isolated in a cage where they could avoid the electric shock by jumping into the other part of the cage where the current did not pass. To the team’s surprise, the dogs made no attempt to escape when they were shocked. The dogs just laid still in the same part of the cage, experienced the shock, and did not budge to the other side of the cage. However, the new dogs, who did not participate in the first part of the experiment, immediately escaped the shock by jumping to the other side of the cage. This proved that only those dogs felt helpless who had been conditioned to the shock in the first part of the experiment. These findings too were, later, extrapolated on human beings.
With this experiment, came the concept of LEARNED HELPLESSNESS. It means how an individual, who has faced multiple setbacks in past, finds himself helpless and powerless over the current aversive situation in life and does not even want to attempt a change in his existing condition. Whether it is failed previous romantic relationships, or multiple past dominating bosses at work or having difficult conversations with parents – some of us do not even attempt to change what has been bothering us for the longest time!
Human beings are inherently curious beings. They want to know the reason for every good or bad situation they are into. Interestingly, looking for a reason is both productive and counterproductive. Finding reasons help us to assess the situation better and avoid the same in future. So that is productive. However, sometimes we overemphasise on the reasons and forget to work on the problem itself. Besides, finding reasons when they are multifactorial, convoluted, or unknown can be taxing and exhausting. These can be counterproductive.
Let us understand this concept with an example. A young woman loses her job. There could be many reasons the woman could say were the factors for losing her job – “I am dumb”, “I did not work hard enough”, “My boss was pathetic” etc etc. Literature says that learned helplessness sets in when the reasons we attribute for our setbacks are –
- Internal – which means the reason for that event was within the individual (I AM DUMB) as opposed to External where the reason was outside the individual (MY BOSS WAS PATHETIC)
- Global – which means that reason would not change from situation to situation (I AM DUMB) as opposed to Situational where the reason applies in one specific situation (MY BOSS WAS PATHETIC, NEXT JOB MAY HAVE A MORE EMPATHIC BOSS)
- Stable – which means that the reason would not change over time (I AM DUMB) as opposed to Temporary which can change from time to time (I DID NOT WORK HARD THIS TIME, BUT I CAN WORK HARDER IN MY NEXT JOB)
So Learned helplessness develops when the reasons we attribute for our defeats are internal, global and stable.
The happy news is that learned helplessness can be unlearned. Yes, we can change the way we feel about our SAME-OLD-SITUATION. We must understand, how much ever the current situation looks like the previous one, there are different confounders and different variables every time we get stuck in apparently THE-SAME-OLD-SITUATION. We need to take a leap of faith, try new avenues, and make some movement!
Here are some tips to get you started when you feel helpless in the present situation because of your difficult previous experiences –
- Learned Optimism – This too was conceptualised by Martin Seligman to make people believe they have more control over their situations than they think they have. Your explanatory style for setbacks has to be more optimistic. One should assess the reasons in their entirety and attribute realistic factors for their previous defeats! Take a diary and note down multiple reasons for losing it last time. Focus more on external, temporary and situational attributions as these are easily mouldable.
- Be specific what you want to change. It is simpler to achieve something if it is clearly described and specifically outlined.
- Set realistic targets.
- Keep a deadline to finish the task at hand. It makes you more organised and disciplined.
- Focus first on measurable aspects rather than abstract ones. It is easier to finish quantifiable.
- Divide the final target into smaller bits so that you can be more confident about accomplishing it. It also makes deadlines more feasible.
- Leave judgements, be more fact oriented.
- Lastly, remember that every situation, no matter how similar it appears to the past events, is a new chance for making a difference. If nothing, at least you have changed since your last setback. You are more experienced, more equipped and more aware of how it can end in different ways.
Let us try to understand these self help tips with an example. Suppose you want to discuss a proposal with your boss but really worry if it will be productive or not. With your many previous experiences, you feel either you are not heard properly, or the discussion does not end in a practical conclusion. This is making you helpless and is creating a big communication gap between you and your boss over time.
Please take a dairy and jot down the reasons why your last conversation with your boss did not materialise in a constructive way.
“He was preoccupied with his submission deadline”
“He was hungry so couldn’t pay attention”
“He had an argument with his wife that morning”
“He was in the middle of a client meeting”
“He had a health issue (tummy upset, backache etc)”
These are good enough reasons for anyone to not have responded to you, the way you want them to. So next time, please anticipate these distractions and look for a better, more receptive time for the discussion.
Other reasons could be –
“I was myself not fully confident about the discussion”
“I ran out of examples to support my own idea”
“I could not answer the queries at the end”
These reasons are easier to handle. You just need to prepare yourself better this time.
Be specific with what you want to discuss. Just rambling with out any direction or bringing too many issues would lead to a confused discussion. You may want to choose neutral words, soft tone, and the right context to initiate the discussion. You may even write down what, how and when you would like to say so that you do not forget it. It would be a good idea to practice it a couple of times to get it right. Divide the whole conversation in smaller bits for ease of understanding. Use facts, figures, percentages, and proportions to support your arguments. You may like to read up and back up your statements with evidence to sound more confident and convincing. You may like to have a deadline for yourself so that you do not delay it any further.
“I am going to read up in the next 3 days…prep myself on what, how and when to talk in another 3 days,….practise it on the 7th day and I will finally discuss with my boss by the beginning of next week, latest by the end of next week”
Avoid using judgemental statements such as “our client is lazy, our organisation is too pushy, our team is useless, we cannot work like crazy etc”
Use facts to substantiate such as “our client missed the deadline, our organisation believes in actions more than words, our team needs more support, we need to have a work-life balance etc”
Once you are clear in your mind about the whole discussion, have confidence and make a move. It may or may not work in favour, but rest assured, you gave it your best try and for that, you must pat your back.
Lastly, learned helplessness is sometimes a part of mental disorders for which one needs professional help. These self-help tips would not be enough in case one is having syndromal clinical depression or other mental disorders. Please reach out to a mental health expert for a psychiatric diagnosis, treatment, and counselling in that case.
Wishing you the best of mental health today and always!
Dr Apala
Nice suggestions, one should try