In medicine, the word trauma means physical injury or wounds. Some wounds are apparent while some are invisible. In today’s article, we will discuss about the hidden wounds: a hurt, loss, defeat, betrayal, pain, in short, not so apparent mental injuries.
What is Trauma?
Trauma is an emotional response following deeply distressing or disturbing event. The event could be singular, multiple, cyclic or enduring resulting in a range of emotional reactions.
‘’Strangely, it might be a small thing for you or any other person but left me devastated’’.
There are infinite number of things that one can experience as traumatic. There is no single definition or a classification system that can define traumatic events. What may seem to be a relatively mild stressor to an outsider may be traumatic to the other because of the individual meaning attached to the event. It’s a very personal experience. For example, child birth may be an exhilarating moment for some mothers, however, there are instances of unpleasant childbirth experiences such as infant death, medical negligence that may turn a woman’s experience of childbirth—something expected to be positive—into a traumatic one.
Therefore, any event could be defined as traumatic if it overwhelms one’s thoughts, emotions and body. Some traumatic experiences are as follows:
Ah! The Betrayal.
The most traumatic thing is when an individual’s trust or well-being is violated by people or institutions that are significant in their life. People can experience betrayal trauma at the hands of parent, caregiver, romantic partners, close friend, colleague, or other important person in their life. The most common example of betrayal trauma is:
- Physical. Verbal, Sexual or Emotional Abuse
- Infidelity
- Bullying (Institutional failure to protect an individual’s right to dignity & respect)
Loss… It hurts!
Traumatic loss refers to the loss of loved ones in the context of potentially traumatizing circumstances. Examples include:
- Losses due to homicide or suicide,
- Accidents,
- Natural disasters
- Losses resulting from war and terror
Again, with betrayal and loss important relationships and safe spaces are lost. These incidents threaten individuals’ sense of self, in case of children, the developing self, which is even worse. By self, we mean individual’s perception towards the world, future and their own self.
A I said its not easy to classify traumatic events. What about the historic, collective or intergenerational trauma. Racism, casteism, and the wars. Where would you put secondary trauma? The secondary trauma which is rarely acknowledged that occurs when someone speaks to someone who has experienced a trauma or witnessed a trauma first hand. The person listening can develop similar symptoms experienced by the person explaining the trauma.
Below are the clinical accounts of people afflicted with trauma.
‘’I feel empty,’’ ‘’I lost apart of myself and do not know myself anymore,’’’ ‘’I will never be able to experience normal emotions again,’’ and ‘’I feel numb’’.
People react in different ways post trauma. It could be an immediate reaction, delayed, brief or prolonged. These reactions are often normal responses to trauma but can still be distressing to experience. Such responses are not signs of mental illness, nor do they indicate a mental disorder. In fact, traumatic reactions comprise a specific constellation of signs which can be grouped under five categories.
- Emotional
Emotional reaction to trauma is on a continuum. At one end there are overwhelming emotions such as crying, excessive sadness, anger, fear, shame, while on the other end there is too little emotions, for e.g., numbness.
2. Physical
Research has shown that traumatic events affect physiological system and change the functioning of different areas of the brain. Thus, people are likely to have physical complaints such as headaches; sleep disturbances; muscle tension; gastrointestinal problems, cardiovascular, neurological, and substance use disorders.
3. Cognitive
Traumatic events can affect how we think about the world, future and own self. Any kind of trauma might initiate a cycle of negative thinking. Someone who has been abused in child might believe that world is not safe, that all people are dangerous, or that life holds no promise. The person might become highly guarded, possess survivors’ guilt, and experience disturbing thoughts and memories on daily basis.
4. Behavioral
Research has shown that most people self-medicate (alcohol) as a way to deal with trauma. Others deal with the distressing effects of trauma by engaging in self-destructive behaviour such as self-harm, risky behaviours (reckless driving), overeating etc. However, not all engage in unhealthy behaviour and heal from trauma.
Some examples of resilient responses are
- Seek support from friends, family and community.
- Seek professional help
- Increased sense of purpose and meaning.
- Engage in self-care
- Social
Trauma affects interpersonal relationships. People might avoid social support or refuse to take help or show their true emotions in relationships. It takes away one’s ability to be vulnerable. You become a machine who refuse to act like human with needs and wants. This is a protective mechanism helping you to survive which eventually stop serving in long-term resulting in interpersonal conflicts and other mental disorders.
Most people are resilient in face of traumatic losses only a smaller percentage develops psychopathology. It is important to note that if these reactions persist for long, that is more than one month and cause difficulties in everyday functioning then it might indicate a mental disorder and need for professional help. Common diagnosis related to trauma is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Acute stress Disorder.
“Yes, it was hard at the time, but it made me the strong independent person I am today. I don’t need any help. Well, is there any other way I could have dealt with it?”
- First, Acknowledge!
“It was not that bad,” “others had it worse,” “I cannot change the past and we cannot do anything about it,” ‘’Maybe I deserved it,” “I was a difficult kid.”
Statements like this shows denial, an excuse to dismiss, bury, or overlook their traumatic experiences. People are often resistant to facing what they endured and what it’s done to them. Don’t do this to yourself. Acknowledge that hurt, loss, and betrayal.
- You are not at Fault
Many trauma survivors carry the survivors’ guilt. Whatever has happened to you is not your fault. Repeat. It’s not your Fault.
- Give time
This is going to stay for a while. Allow yourself to experience all the emotions associated with the loss or betrayal you have experienced and try to be patient with changes in your emotional state.
- Communicate and Connect
You don’t have to do it all alone. Express what you are feeling in whatever way feels comfortable to you. You can talk to a family member or a close friend.
- Avoid Self destructive behaviours
Alcohol and drugs aren’t the solution. It might complicate your recovery process. Keep a watch and a safe distance!
For people who suffered trauma world is an Unsafe place. It becomes utterly difficult for them to trust people and thus seeking help doesn’t come easily. Such events initiate a cycle of hopelessness, and they continue to suffer silently. Thus, holding onto hope becomes a prerequisite.
Remind yourself that recovery might take a while but is certainly possible. The safe place and trusting relationship that you constantly search for do exist. Connecting yourself with a trauma informed therapist might end this search and help you work through your trauma and avoid the cycle of re-traumatisation. Trust! there is a life beyond our traumas.
Leaving you with my favourite poem. Keep it close!
“Hope” is the thing with feathers, that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops at all, and sweetest in the Gale is heard, and sore must be the storm That could abash the little Bird, that kept so many warm, I’ve heard it in the chilliest land, and on the strangest Sea – Yet – never – in Extremity, it asked a crumb – of me.
-Emily Dickson
Wishing you the best of mental health today and always!
Huda Naaz