What after all, ‘is the key’ to a successful and enduring marriage? Even though this age-old query appears to come up time and again, however, it is still challenging to come up with a precise and satisfactory response.
There are some fundamental characteristics that are similar to long-lasting love relationships that most individuals can connect to, even though much of human history has been engaged in the complicated and ill-defined discovery of this strange human condition. We all must agree to the fact that even the strongest relationships need love, care and nurturing.
Couples might have diverse personalities and they may differ greatly from one another, yet one thing that is common in all lasting relationships is the secret of ‘Eight C’s’ – Care, Connect, Communication, Commitment, Contentment, Compassion, Compatibility and Compromise. These fundamental principles work in conjunction with other personality characteristics to create personality profiles, which in turn drive behaviors, which are subsequently manifested as actions. Better relationships can be developed by understanding how people compartmentalize the many components of their interactions within a cognitive framework.
Let’s look at the importance of ‘Eight C’s’.
a. Care – Opening a door, serving coffee or making a meal for your partner can be an easy way to show them you care, but you also need to say it out loud. Find a way to let your loved one know you care; some individuals never speak the three simple words, and that’s hard for your partner. You just need to be more present and perform a random act of kindness. It truly does not require much of an effort.
b. Connect – To connect with your partner, you don’t necessarily need to go out of your way. A happy marriage is built on the modest, everyday details, which can be as simple as, helping around with household chores, having meals together or even going out for short walks together.
c. Communication – Effective Communication is all about properly expressing ideas so that the recipient comprehends them as intended. For couples, it is about more than just exchanging information. It’s about understanding the intentions behind the information and the emotions poured in. This may also include the capacity of being able to clearly convey a message, you need to also listen in a way that gains the full meaning of what’s being said and makes your partner feel heard and understood.
d. Commitment – Commitment is a frame of mind. It is important because it makes you more dependable, trustworthy and responsible towards your partner. Commitment can come in different shapes and sizes, but for many people, dedication to your spouse is the most significant. Many couples begin their marriage with the intention of being committed, but they soon discover that commitment requires ongoing time, effort, thinking, and action. Relationship commitment is more complicated than merely exchanging rings before a wedding or a simple word. It all comes down to collaborating as a team.
e. Contentment – Contentment is the greatest wealth. We all human beings, begin comparing ourselves and our rewards, with others, as we scan social media and take in our surroundings. We all are more prone to notice the things we lack, such as my wife isn’t as attractive as xyz’s wife, and my husband isn’t as compassionate as abc’s husband. Instead, we need to be aware of our resources. Rather than dwelling on what our partner lacks, we need to start observing, listing, and appreciating the good traits that they possess.
f. Compassion – The way you treat your spouse is a better barometer of your genuine character than how you treat strangers. Pay attention to them, take their advice, and acknowledge their efforts. Tell your spouse how much you value them. Treat them with respect and act and speak in a way that you would like to be treated.
g. Compatibility – The process of compatibility is rather simple. Similar preferences, way of life, political or religious convictions, etc. This is more about the compatibility of ideas than it is about two people having similar likes or always agreeing. People with dominating personalities frequently look for mates who are submissive, and vice- versa. The same is true of compatibility; occasionally, opposites do attract. The degree of compatibility is obviously highly subjective, making it challenging to quantify. Understanding your own sense of what is important to you is the key to
gaining a fair view on compatibility.
h. Compromise – Compromise-making skills are such an invaluable relationship asset. Nothing will satisfy you if you enter believing you must get your way in every situation. It’s not how life is. By trying to reach a compromise, you can avoid heated arguments and receive what you need even if you don’t get all you want. And that’s how things ought to be.
Remember, every love relationship has its ups and downs and requires effort, dedication, and a readiness to change with your spouse. But there are actions we all can take to build healthy relationships, regardless of how long we have been dating or how new our relationship is. You may find strategies to stay connected, find contentment, and experience enduring happiness—even if you’ve had a history of unsuccessful relationships or have previously struggled to reignite the passion in your present relationship.
Our team of experts at The Psych Clinic specializes in couple counseling and provide personalized guidance to help couples. Don’t hesitate to reach out to us for support.
Wishing you the best of mental health today and always!
Sukirti Ahuja
Consultant Clinical Psychologist